The Power Plate - Old Nonsense Reborn

December 07, 2011

Back in the old days, a weight/cellulite removal device hit the market claiming to jiggle the fat right off of you.

Of course, it was just a load of marketing nonsense no different than so many other baloney devices that hit the infomercial sphere every day. If it were true, chewing gum would make your face thin.

A fairly new device called the Power Plate is making its creators millions. Hundreds of people swear by the thing, claiming all kinds of varied results from it. Unfortunately, the device is entering the realm of professional sports too.

From a web blog called Fitness Equipment Archives:

As fans turn to the U.S. Open to watch world-class tennis played by the most elite players in the world, the players themselves turn to Power Plate to give them the competitive edge. According to Serena Williams, the reigning U.S., Australian and Wimbledon champion, and the favored choice to win the U.S. Open women's singles title, "Off court training is as important to me as on court. With the Power Plate, I'm able to accelerate my off court training and maximize the benefits."

Is this a paid endorsement? I couldn't find out.

Let's do a side by side comparison of the two "different" machines so we can get a really close look at what we are dealing with here.


So, one wiggles you from the top, the other jiggles you from the bottom. Same deal. Same device. Same B.S.

The Power Plate, they claim, flings the fat off you, strengthens muscles, makes bones denser, improves circulation, etc. Take a look at the bottom of the link for the scientific minds that endorse it. (Oh, c'mon. I kid those gals.)

But the device itself isn't what is providing the meager benefits, if any, that one experiences. The fact that you have to hold on to the thing for dear life lest you be tossed to the pavement is what's doing the trick. After the first time I used it as instructed (feet together in a semi squat position), my crotch chaffed so badly I needed to apply Aquaphor Extreme to my inner thighs for nearly week.

What will we fall for next?

Now, if she were on it, I'd believe! (Oh, c'mon, you know I had to!)